i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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