so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
