you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
