He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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