Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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