he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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