we have officially lost it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize