She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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