I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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