if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
