You just made me feel so damn special
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize