I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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