You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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