All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
