At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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