I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
