vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
