Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
