You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
