If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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