they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
