Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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