One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
