If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
