sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
