well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
