we have pet lesbian snakes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
