Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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