Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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