I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
