fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Fuck appropriateness.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize