Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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