come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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