It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The uberlube is also flammable
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
