He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
