Screwed.edu
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize