Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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