Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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