you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
