FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
