Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sober January is a disaster.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize