Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
