Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Floor bacon is actually really good
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
