when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
