Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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