He disabled his match.com account in front of me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
