he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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