Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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