David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
