***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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