dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
