"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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