only if we run a train.
done.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She even gives head with a lisp.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
