Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
