ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
