the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
