Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
