i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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