If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
