double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I am one with the molecules
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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