You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
