allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
