I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
