Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
