So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
