i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
