oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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